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This sort of thing is all too common.

 
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Psygnal
Dark Lord



Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Posts: 3289


A purple glowing shadow-wolf. It's as elusive as smoke, and can walk through things. That's cool and all, but you can't pick up its poop. Pet: A forest wolf. Just your average moon-howling, forest padding, chicken eating feral woofer.
Pet: A green glowing ferocious wolf spirit. The way it walks through the door when it wants 'walkies' is disconcerting. Pet: A large black wolf. He's cool, and he knows it. Pet: A cackling, mangy hyena. You've got to laugh, don't you? Pet: A large red hunting velociraptor. It's basically an iguana that learned to stand upright and eat people.
Gold 29515
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:53 pm    Post subject: This sort of thing is all too common. Reply with quote


Excerpts from British Newspapers:


Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said: "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
- The Daily Telegraph.


Irish Police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle, and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.
- The Guardian.


A young girl who was blown out to see on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented "This sort of thing is all too common."
- The Times.


At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. The coast guard replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a wind gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover over the cliff.
- Aberdeen Evening Express.


Mrs Irene Grahame of Boscombe delighted her audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled: "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelled out "Heil Hitler."
- Bournemouth Evening Echo.
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Bongo
Lieutenant-General
Farts Rainbows


Joined: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 1891


Rare Item: A collection of the works of Gandalf The Grey, signed by the mage himself. In crayon. Pet: A bovine of average proportions. It goes moo at one end, and milk comes out the other. Nothing to it. Rare Item: Saurons Helm. Taken when he was struck down by the combined armies of Elf and Man. Turned upside down, it would make a great collander. Rare Item: The One Ring. The Ring of Power. The owner of this item thinks they are COMPLETELY invisible... nobody has the heart to say otherwise. Chaos Guild: Anarchy and Chaos are the order of business. Weapon: The epic battle axe is without precedent. It is sharp, swings true, and leaves no enemy standing. It just takes two people to carry the damn thing.
Gold 10983
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


Forwarded all of these around the office in an email. I've since been informed that I'm full of it. Wink

Bongo
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